A World on Fire - A Zombie Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Cracked’s 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail

Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

Here’s the latest zombie write up from the fine people over at Cracked.com about why a zombie apocalypse could not happen. This isn’t a scientific breakdown of biology and viruses or any examination of whether such a state is even possible. Rather, the article examines on how a zombie apocalypse is just not sustainable in the modern world.

The article goes on to mention things like heat and cold being a factor. Wild animals make an appearance and of course, people’s love of metal pointy things that go boom. I gotta say, I’m kind of in agreement with the final conclusion. If zombies can be killed with guns, I just can’t see them rising in any serious numbers to overthrow human civilization. While there may be a large swath of the population who will become zombie chow, there are plenty of us alive who would show no fear in the face of a rotting apocalypse, but would thrive in it. Give such a person a large cache of weapons, some good body armor, and a few months of rations, that person would be able to clear out city blocks without any problem. Form an army of such people and the zombies would be annihilated.

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Things I Won’t Miss After the Zombie Apocalypse: Paying for Something

Monday, August 16th, 2010

Zombie ApocalypseWhenever the idea of a zombie apocalypse is mentioned, we have images of upside down cars, billowing black smoke into a bloody red sky. We behold derelict cities, empty of bodies moving in meaningful directions. We see our world topped on its head, and in seeing that grim depiction, there’s an unspoken sadness of what has been, will never be.

Well, it’s not all wailing and teeth gnashing. There are actually some good things that result from an end of days scenario. Like not paying for things.

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Do Zombies Drink and Drive?

Saturday, July 10th, 2010

Zombie DrivingI gotta say, this is the best story I’ve read all week. After finishing it, I laughed like a lunatic. This is one of the stories if someone told you about it, you’d think you were getting a plate full of cow dung.

Posted tonight at io9, this is a true story that happened recently involving a carload of zombies on their way to a party. Evidently, the dead don’t drive too well because the car somehow lost control and rolled. Thankfully, none of the people were injured.

And yes .. this is where hilarity ensues. From the article:

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Paul is Undead

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

Paul is UndeadThere’s certainly something funny about zombies. It can’t be denied. Watching a zombie film on its own without any sound, you might first start laughing before you realize that you were supposed to feel horrified. So, it’s no surprise that zombie movies often devolve into pretty good comedies.

That said, I’m not a big fan of zombie comedies. It feels like an easy laugh for me like putting a guy in a dress so when a new zombie comedy surfaces, it’s gotta do a lot to sell me on it. Alas, this project does not.

Titled Paul is Undead, this book follows the Beatles as if the band started a zombie apocalypse. I really can’t explain it any further but here’s a little blurb from the article:

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In Soviet Japan … You Eat the Zombies

Monday, May 24th, 2010

Zombies ... yummy!This article reminds of an old Mystery Science Theater episode where Joel and the bots watched an old episode of Gamera. In it, they sang, “Gamera! Gamera! Gamera is really neat. He is filled with turtle meat”. Well, if you’ve always wanted to take a bite out of a zombie and you were too shy to ask, you might want to head over to Japan and pick yourself up a package of Zombie Jerky.

No. I’m not making this up. Don’t take it from me. Take it from the blogger:

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How to Survive a Zombie Attack: Claw Hammer

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

How to Survive a Zombie AttackJohn Herman recently wrote to me, promoting an upcoming series a videos aptly titled, “How to Survive the Strange”. I’m guessing this web series is not intended to be a “zombie only” production as the intro of the clip shows a young woman sitting down at dinner with a vacuum cleaner. I’m not sure what that is supposed to mean, but I’m guessing we will learn about this strange dinner in future episodes.

That said, this first episode deals with our undead friends, and co-creator Bryan White introduces the clip like it were an episode on how to build your own shed. I liked the zombies in this clip. The seemed to be very eager to take down a young man, sipping his drink in the sun. Seeing as John describes the world overrun by the dead, I’m think this man was been a little passive aggressive with his own suicide.

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HvZ: The Game

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

HvZ: the GameToday one of my co-workers came over to my desk all very excited about an upcoming zombie game called “H vs Z”. I asked him if he was confused with the live action zombie game that has been taking over campuses, but he was certain that there was a new game called H vs Z coming out for the XBox this year. I was kind of shocked that I hadn’t heard of it so I asked him to send me a link. Well, it turned out to be a Cracked article. Needless to say, I thoroughly enjoyed telling him Cracked was a gag rag which made his face change into several shades of red.

The game itself sounds great. Sure, it may be fake, but it’s all about the hardcore players.

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The Trailer for Every Oscar Ever Made

Monday, March 8th, 2010

The Trailer for Every Oscar Ever MadeThere are bloody curdling zombies. There are zombies that will pin you to the wall with fear. There are zombies that will make laugh to your bones. Alas, I do not believe that I have ever seen a zombie so horrific to equal the sight of Ben Stiller dressed as a Na’vi alien from Avatar. I don’t know why it bothers me so much to see all the different pictures of him, but the sooner it fades into the fog of lost memories, the happier I will be.

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Hollywood Zombies

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Hollywood ZombiesJohn over at LT Prints just shot me an email, letting me know of their latest product line, Hollywood Zombies. This site is kind of a throwback to the eighties when the Garbage Pail Kids were all the rage. The big difference between the former and the latter is that Hollywood Zombies features undead celebrities in various states of decay.

For example, there’s a print of “ARNOLD CORPSENEGGER” doing his best to lift some weights while his arms quite literally fall apart. Then there’s the famous power couple, “BRADGELINA” which is two zombie heads sewn onto the same body. Of course, they are carrying a dead baby.

Here’s some more information for the interested:

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Zombies Granted Free Speech Rights

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Zombie HordeI seem to start a lot of posts with the following scenario, but imagine if you will that the world is in flames and the dead walk the earth. Now imagine, if you pulled a gun on one of the zombies only to find yourself arrested, and thrown into a post apocalyptic jail because you threatened a zombie’s free speech rights. No — this isn’t just some random story, but the law in action.

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Yahoo Answers Takes on the Zombie Apocalypse

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

Zombie MeatI’ve never quite understood the subtleties and mysteries of Yahoo answers. I guess it’s something about answering questions for points which, er, raises you in level so you can become the uber answerer thus earning you first in line at the local car wash. Or something.

Well, someone asked a pretty interesting question. Is zombie meat really edible in the upcoming zombie apocalypse. If it is, well, that solves a lot of problems with the whole gathering of food problem. Granted, your local zombie won’t taste like a fine T-Bone steak, but it would fill your belly.

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A Zombie Survival Kit That You Can Dance To

Monday, March 1st, 2010

Zombie Survival KitImagine the scenario … the world is in flames. Friends, neighbors, loved ones have succumbed to the ongoing zombie apocalypse, forcing you to kill them for your own survival. Life is a daily grind of running from one safe house to another, doing your best to barricade yourself from the horde only to have the walking dead overcome your defenses each and every time.

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Has the Zombie Apocalypse Already Started?

Friday, February 26th, 2010

US Zombie DepartmentI just saw this on Digg tonight and it gave me a little chuckle. Truth be told, if the dead did start rising from their graves and eating plain old regular folk, you can put down hard cash on the fact that the government will do anything in its power to coverup the affair, lest panic sweep ahold of the nation. But sometimes, the government can’t help but be the government and all their sneaking around will do little difference when agents drive vans as the one depicted in this picture.

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29 Billion Zombies Killed and Counting

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

The PassingStar Trek’s bald headed chick magnet Captain Jean Luc Piccard observed that all life forms have a right to exist no matter how strange the behavior or aggressive the creature towards our species. Of course, Piccard hadn’t encountered the flesh eating undead who would delightfully tear him apart limb from limb, but if he had, I’m guessing the number of dead zombies would be higher. As it stands, we should still be proud of our collective 29 billion zombies killed in a span of three months with the release of Left 4 Dead 2.

Tom’s Guide has reported the figures from Valve and in doing so, tried to break it down in understandable figures. Like, have you thought how high a stack of 29 billion zombies would reach into the sky?

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Jim Henson’s Zombie Babies

Friday, February 5th, 2010

Baby ZombieWhat happens when your baby gets bitten by a zombie? It becomes a baby zombie. And what happens when you have a baby zombie? You have a lot more other baby zombies.

On an aside, while writing my book, I got to think about what would happen to newly delivered babies in a hospital once a zombie apocalypse occurred. I reasoned the outlook wouldn’t be so good, and promptly thought of something else. Babies and zombies go together like kittens and crocodiles. They’re just not good for each other.

Baby Zombie (25.media.tumblr.com <- new window)