Bush Vs. Zombies (youtube.com <- new window)

Tony’s a pretty awesome guy. I discovered him when I was trolling through Twitter back in the day and decided to check out who George Romero followed. Turns out that Tony was at the top of his list, so I was like, Hell Bells, I’ll follow him too.

A little detour – I’m not a big fan of Twitter. It tends to get awfully noisy, awfully fast. There’s a crap load of self promotion mixed with daily inanities that can be a little nauseating. Mind you, I’m not opposed to self promotion – when you gotta get the word out, you gotta get the word out – it’s the d-bag self promotion that drives me to drink. Describing it is kind of like describing the smell of dog poop. You can’t really describe it, but you know it when you smell it. Couple that with the asinine behavior of a twelve year being recorded by a television camera and you can see why I have little stomach for it. Thankfully, there are some good pockets of Twitter and I’m happy to say Tony’s right in the center of one, hanging out with other zombie writers and bloggers.

Tony’s a pretty down to earth guy who started writing on National Novel Writing Month and ended up with a published book out of it. Before Permuted Press picked it up, he self published it and did fine good job of it, attracting the attention of zombie heavyweight Jonathan Mayberry .

Five years ago – hell, three years ago – presses would not approach the self published writer, but now authors are getting deals out of them. It’s a pretty exciting time. Well, Tony pushed his book and caught a very nice head wind.

Still, it didn’t sound like all roses. Here’s what Tony had to say about it:

I have to admit, being a self-published writer was an incredibly huge roller coaster of an experience. I had such high ups and incredibly low downs. Writers and readers can be incredibly nasty at times just because your book is self-published. I even had one group of people that because they hated my book so much, mostly because of it being self-published, that they called my wife a name that I shall not repeat. Let me just say it is THE word a man should not ever call a woman. If not for the kind words of writers like Jonathan Maberry and David Dunwoody, I would have probably quit writing that day. I write for the fun of it and if my writing gets my wife insulted like that, then it is obviously no fun. With that being said, the majority of the people I have dealt with over the past year have been intelligent enough to recognize that the industry is changing and like it or not, there will be significantly more self-published authors out there in the years to come.

It’s disheartening to hear about other writers acting like that, but I guess there’s nothing like success to breed contempt. I’m glad Tony didn’t quit which to me is the mark of a successful writer.

Tony’s doing a giveaway over here, but I think I’m going to head over to Amazon and pick myself up a copy. You should too. :)

More to come.

Eric S. Brown chats with Tony Faville, author of “Kings of the Dead” (nakedsnakepress.net <- new window)

And then things get weird when I see pictures of a real life apocalypse. I’m always looking around the edges of the photo for our zombie friends. Alas, this set of pictures does not have zombies in it, but it does provide a glimpse of a world without people in it.

The cause of the apocalypse was Hurricane Katrina. The place was Six Flags. The amusement park was deserted before the hurricane and when the flood waters receded, the suits decided to leave it derelict. The years passed by and the once fun summer getaway has turned into a nightmare apocalypse without the zombies.

It’s kind of creepy to see the silent roller coasters silhouetted against an overcast sky without a balloon in sight. The following article links to a video journal of the place, including the creepy music. It’s pretty good in a end of everything we know kind of way. And once you wet your whistle with the apocalypse, feel free to check out my Apocalyptic Visions wallpaper section of the site. Creepy music not included.

Abandoned Six Flags New Orleans video is creeping us out (gadling.com <- new window)

I just have this bad feeling in my stomach that this film is going to be pretty terrible. I usually don’t get that stomach turning nausea, but this film seems to be eating people alive (har, har). I remember awhile back that there was great whoops of delight when Natalie Portman had agreed to star in it, but she seems to have gotten a bad feeling as well and dropped out of the production last year.

This is probably going to be one of those movies that takes a crap load of work to get made and it will be almost a relief to the producers of the film when its done – even when it bombs. I read excerpts of the book and found it funny but not something I’d want to see in the theater.

I’m wondering if the filmmakers are having the same feeling that as well.

Craig Gillespie Confirmed To Direct Pride And Prejudice And Zombies (spinoff.comicbookresources.com <- new window)

Evidently, the funeral home was farming out its ad placements through Clear Channel who filled the billboard space with the brainless efficiency of one who hates his job but has nothing better to do. Honestly, I think the home could have really capitalized on the placement by opening a gun shop on the other side of the home.

From the article:

A spokesman for the Co-operative Funeralcare said its premises in Consett were leased.

He said: ‘It is disappointing that we were not consulted as this advert could cause unnecessary distress.

‘When the billboard site was erected, we were assured that no insensitive adverts would be featured.’

While I can definitely understand the sensitivity issues, it’s definitely pretty funny.

Now that IS product placement! Billboard for zombie show The Walking Dead posted on side of a FUNERAL PARLOUR

Well, in honor of Minecraft, a group of fans created this pretty kick ass video about a zombie apocalypse. I gotta say, besides the funny inside jokes about Minecraft, the video itself is really well made. It starts with a view of a post-apocalyptic looking city with the simple words, “13 Days After the Infection” and it gets better. Honestly, I would love to see this crew make a bona fide zombie film. Hell, even a buddy picture zombie film a la Zombieland except without the last half of the movie.

For those of you who haven’t played Minecraft, here’s a couple insights to the jokes but you might want to read them after you see it lest I ruin it for you.

First of all, everyone is dressed in what looks like block outfits. That’s because everything in Minecraft is rendered in cubes. Even your own character looks blocky. It’s the graphical style of the game and while it may cause some people to chew their own eyeballs, it becomes endearing after awhile. You may say this is the result of Stockholm syndrome and since the creator, Markus “Notch” Persson lives in Stockholm, I’d have to agree with you

The pork chops are used to restore health in the game. You have to kill pigs in the game, collect the meat, and then cook it. I always carry a ton of it when I go exploring because I usually end up pretty far away from my in game house when night falls. And when I find myself caught outside, I tend to mix it up a bit with the bad guys. By mix it up, I mean that I run away with my tail between legs, sounding like Curly from The Three Stooges.

There’s a bit in the video where the survivors are in the workshed, putting their resources on the table. That’s the crafting part of Minecraft with actual in game graphics. They ultimately make a blue pick and blue shotgun. The blue means they crafted them out of diamonds; one of the best (and rarest) resource in the game. Alas, you cannot make a shotgun.

And finally, the monster that explodes at the end of the clip is called a Creeper. He’s a pretty much a suicidal bomber. He actually doesn’t mind the sun so he’s a big pain the ass. He’s as silent as a ninja and well, likes to creep. Usually, the only thing you hear is his fuse going off which means he’s right behind you and that you are screwed. Big time. He tends to leave large craters in his wake if you are lucky enough to avoid him.

Well, I’m off to city hall to pick up my certified geek card. I hope you enjoyed the clip as much I did.

MINECRAFT – The Last Minecart (youtube.com <- new window)

Honestly, I can go a little overkill myself. I actually thought about buying one of those car window breakers in case I accidentally drive into a lake (I’ve already flipped my car going 50mph). And whenever I go into the woods, I carry the equivalent of a hardware store on my back for day trips. But this guy puts me to shame.

From the article:

Christopher Rodger, 25, was spotted by police at the Port Authority Bus Terminal on Tuesday night; he was wearing a trench coat on a warm evening, had an “empty” look in his eyes, and had a long camouflage bag slung over his shoulder. PA Officers Thomas Kemble and Leonard Trubia questioned him, and he immediately admitted he was carrying a gas-powered pellet gun. Searching in his bag, they found a treasure trove of weapons: five samurai swords, three daggers and other knives, burglar tools, night-vision goggles and hand-drawn blueprints.

Yes … when one samurai sword can’t do the job, it’s best to bring four others. The only question on my mind is “where is the shotgun”? I probably don’t want to know the answer.

“Zombie Enthusiast” Caught In Port Authority With Weapons Arsenal (gothamist.com <- new window)
Armed ‘zombie’ arrest (newyorkpost <- new window) (also original source)

The thing I did enjoy about reading this article was the picture. Looking at it from a distance, my first thought was that she is holding a break action double barreled shotgun. It was when I was resizing the photo did I notice she is actually pumping gas. Granted, I’m going on four hours sleep right now so I’m seeing shotguns everywhere, but I like my original interpretation. She just needs to drape a bloody axe over her shoulder to make the picture complete.

The reaction from people sounds pretty funny. From the article:

Police have pulled her over just to admire her zombie-mobile. Teenagers crowd around it in the parking lot and pull out their camera phones. Photos of Midling’s car even appeared on websites such as CollegeHumor.com.

Pretty cool indeed. This is one woman who will be ready when the zombies start their march. And yes, they are coming :)

Woman’s ‘zombie removal’ car turns heads (southbendtribune.com <- new window)

In any case, the article is well written and pretty funny. I really liked this part here:

“I’m fucking pumped,” said Stephen Hernandez, an unmotivated office worker whose entire family was eaten by zombies. “I had a stack of papers to deal with on Monday, but now it looks like I’ll be a little busy avenging my family’s death via Louisville Slugger.”

“Sure it might not be the most effective weapon, but you also have to factor in satisfaction and style points,” Hernandez added.

If you get a chance, check out his older stuff. The headlines alone will make you laugh. His site rivals that of Onion so beware. Once you start reading his articles, chances are, you may lose half your day. Good stuff.

REPORT: Americans Super Excited About Zombie Apocalypse (dailypygmy.com <- new window)

In any case, Kelly Faircloth puts forth the argument that there just isn’t enough female driven zombie movies. While she does mention that there are strong female characters, often times, these women are shifted to the background so the men can take over. Here’s an interesting quote:

Perhaps an even more frustrating example is 28 Days Later. When we first meet Jim, he’s in no condition to face the new world. Luckily, he’s rescued by survivors Selena and Mark, and it’s immediately clear who’s the boss of that team. Selena catches Jim up to speed, says when it’s time to move and dispatches anyone who’s bitten. By the end of the film, she and Hannah have both become Jim’s responsibility. He’s the one who bursts into the mansion, rescues them from impending rape and reassures Selena that “It’s not all fucked.” Not exactly Father Knows Best, but closer than you’d expect from Danny Boyle.

One movie that comes to mind is the remake of Day of the Dead whereby Mena Suvari leads a group of survivors out of a zombie infected suburb although it was a pretty terrible flick. She was kind of a badass in a boring way. But Kelly does have a point that women are often relegated to the back of the bus. Or in the worst kind of zombie fiction, they become fantasy objects that feels like a male teenager’s wet dream (*cough*Brian*Keene*).

Where I disagree is when she states that zombie movies are reflective of reality. I believe we don’t see a lot of women as main characters in zombie films because the majority of zombie literature is written by men. And a lot of zombie fiction is stomach churning. I’m sure if more women wrote in the genre, we’d be seeing stronger female leads. The same goes for film.

Personally, my favorite badass woman was in the book “The Things They Carried” written Tim O’Brien. Check out the story, “Sweetheart of the Song Tra Bong” where a soldier’s girlfriend stays with him in Vietnam. She’s all flowers and apple pie until she starts hanging out with special forces guys. She starts joining raids and by the end of the story, she’s wearing a necklace of human tongues. Pretty ‘effin bad-ass, indeed.

The Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse (inevitablezombieapocalypse.com <- new window)
I Demand More Zombie-Killing Female Role Models (io9.com <- new window)

Some time ago in the quaint state of Pennsylvania, a group of young filmmakers had the idea of creating a new type of horror movie. They all pitched in five hundred bucks and formed a company called Latent Image. Their idea centered around flesh eating corpses. A young filmmaker named George Romero was tasked with writing and directing it. They shot the film in a little farmhouse and called it Night of the Flesh Eaters which was later named to Night of the Living Dead by the distributor. Little did Romero know that he and his friends would capture lightning in a bottle.

Years later with a dozen or so movies under his belt and a career that by all accounts was over (by Hollywood standards), George was brought back from the dead when zombies returned to the forefront of the public’s eye. There he went on a zombie making spree, shooting three movies in five years with the last film being Survival of the Dead. Alas, this movie should have remained dead like the walking antagonists.

The movie follows a group of soldiers last seen in Diary of the Dead. The group is lead by a ragged soldier named Crockett. He’s is a grizzled veteran of the undead war. His two black pupils lets you know that there is no soft edges to his character. He’s all kill or be killed. And also, he’s probably the biggest chain smokers in movie history. I’ve never seen a character light up as much as he does. I kid you not … in every scene, he is snapping open his zippo and taking a deep long drag. I’m guessing it’s because he read the script, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves :)

Crockett commands a ragtag group of soldiers who are all by-the-numbers cannon fodder. They pretty much all die in the order that you expect them to. Not that it matters. None of them are very likable. They all do stupid things so when they do die, it isn’t so much a “tragic” moment as it is “duh” moment. They hold long conversations while being attacked by zombies. They don’t mind swimming through zombie infested waters. They don’t like to secure any areas from wandering zombies nor do they believe in searching their prisoners for weapons. Or for that matter, they don’t mind arming their prisoners. In a word, they are idiots. But not just normal idiots, they are famous idiots since robbing the film students in Diary of the Dead which brings me to one of my biggest problems with the movie. The world itself.

Romero does a terrible job conveying his apocalyptic world. He’s trying to show a world going to hell, but the characters still talk about internet fame which implies some sense stability. At another point, the characters manage to acquire a ton of cash and they are excited about being millionaires. Yet, the outbreak is presented as a national one which makes no sense. Money would be worthless, yet Romero doesn’t address these implications which makes for confusing character motivations. And believe it or not, in a Romero zombie apocalypse, YouTube continues to function. Hell, people still get cell service and the power continues to work. That’s what I call a convenient apocalypse.

Well, the soldiers manage to get a boat where they sail out to Plum Island which is inhabited by Americans with thick Irish accents. We’re told it’s a fishing village, but it’s really Ireland displaced in the wild west.

The plot centers around two rival clans. One clan wants to kill the zombies whereas the other wants to rehabilitate them. The rehabiltators believe if zombies could learn to eat animals instead of people, people would be safe around them. It’s a completely retarded argument that ignores the fact that zombies will still eat people. And with a limited food supply on the island, it’s just pure insanity for them to feed their livestock to creatures who don’t need to eat. I think Romero was just trying something different with the genre, but the logic doesn’t jibe. Yes, it sucks to kill your undead spouse, but it sucks even more to die of starvation.

The two clans fight each other with the soldiers getting in the way, resulting in an OK corral type of standoff that is completely boring because all of the characters are both unlikable and predictable. The showdown is supposed to be a meeting of ideologies but it plays out with random people shooting each other with the zombies cleaning up the mess.

The movie ends with a pretty weak conclusion with a taped on message conveyed in monotone narration. It’s flat. It’s uninspired. It’s (as my screenwriting teacher would say) “on-the-nose”. Now contrast that with his first film, Night of the Living Dead which ends with a brutal montage set against creepy almost nihilistic music. It is an incredibly effective piece of filmmaking for what was just a simple credit roll.

Survival of the Dead is also a text book example of pointless computer graphics. At one point, Crockett shoots a zombie in the chest with a flare gun, causing the zombie to combust as if it’s internals were fused with gasoline. The zombie’s head catches fire whereby Crockett lights his cigarette off it. The effect is pure agony to watch because the computer graphics are terrible and the moment is pointless. There are so many similar moments that I felt like I were watching a gory roadrunner cartoon. Seriously, do zombie movies need this kind of CGI? In fact, do zombie movies need any kind of CGI?

In summation, Survival of the Dead isn’t worth sitting through even once. Even the gimmicky Diary of the Dead surpasses this film. Where Diary of the Dead took risks, this film phones it in. It’s pretty clear that Romero is bored with zombies and would rather be filming something else. I can’t blame for that, but I can’t excuse the sloppy writing.

Verdict: Skip it

I would have given the game a spin on my own iTouch but alas, it is currently missing in action. Hopefully, I’ll be able to dig it up soon, but in the meantime, if any of you give the game a whirl, let me know if you think it’s worth the download. Here’s a snippet of what Destructoid thinks:

The game is all about throwing knives at the undead, knives that you can psychically steer because of reasons. Flick a knife, touch the screen and then personally drive it through a flesheater’s skull. It takes a little practice, but it’s good stuff.

Needless to say, the game is basically a demo for the other two games in the series so don’t expect much. As for player reviews, iTunes only has three of them listed on their website with one of them written in Japanese (Chinese?). Thankfully, it won’t cost anything other than time (which is really our most valuable currency) so flick away and let me know how it turns out.

Free App of the Day: Zombie Crisis 3D: Prologue (destructoid.com <- new window)

The first half of the first book is pretty polished. Even though I have plans to rewrite some small sections, I believe it is production quality. The second half … not so much. The problem isn’t actually writing, but rewriting. It’s a long process. I reached a scene a few weeks ago and realized I was missing key information about one of the characters. So I had to stop writing to “meditate” on this character after which, I had to go back and start all over as my previous perception was incorrect. It’s all two steps forward, one step back. But at least, there is some forward progress.

I intended to podcast the book and as you can see, I have two episodes available. This is on definite hiatus for I realized that I was spending more time recording than I was writing. And the recording itself wasn’t a cake walk in the least. It’s amazing how loud my rural neighborhood can be sometimes and while the nearest airport is forty miles from us, we seem to have an air corridor over our head that only becomes active when we need silence.

So what’s the plan? Easy for sure. The books are to be broken into parts about seven chapters a piece. I’ll be ultimately recording each part in the course of a month and releasing it as a unified piece of work instead of sub-sections. Parts will probably be on sale for .99 cents on Kindle devices with hard copies of the entire book being sold probably around ten bucks or so. The kindle files won’t have DRM so if you buy the book and you like it, by all means, share it. The podcast files will be free. This isn’t about making money.

The hardest part of all of this is balancing family, work, writing, and blogging. It’s amazing how one small slip can knock everything astray. In any case, I’m off to finish part one and continue writing book two. Maybe one day, I’ll finish book three before my daughter’s college graduation. One can only hope :)

On an aside … I will say one thing … April Fools is probably my least favorite “holiday” type thing. Where jokes were once constrained to the odd whoopie cushion in the boardroom prank, it’s gone global thanks to the web. I hate April Fools because I can be pretty gullible some times and the web just gets clogged with phony stories. I actually made it through the entire day without taking any bait until I strolled over to The Zed Word and learned of George Romero’s passing. My wife was talking to me when I was like “Holy Shit! Romero is dead!” while coffee shot out of my nose. It was when I was cleaning my snot caffeinated monitor that I realized I had been suckered. Damn you Zed Word :)

The Zed Word: 1
A World on Fire: 0

So … the site’s going back into normal posting mode although there will most likely be one story per day with a max total of two. Believe it or not, I used to post five or six times a day in my glory days but that was the direct result of working at a crappy job with internet access. These days, the focus is on fewer albeit, better posts although you might also see some posts from Ben (another A World on Fire contributor).

As for the book itself, it’s still being rewritten although I’m on the cusp of releasing the first one hundred and fifty pages so more on that in a future post. In any case, if you’re still hanging around or just randomly stopped by, thanks for visiting. Some exciting stuff is just around the corner. Oh … I’ve also cleaned up the forums and installed some automatic monitoring so no more spam there. (fingers crossed).

This critically acclaimed program by English writer Charlie Brooker originally aired in the UK in 2008 and now for the first time can be seen in the U.S. on the IFC. Stephen King called it one of the best 2009 TV shows saying, “This send-up of reality TV is bloody, raunchy, grisly fun.” (EntertainmentWeekly.com)

So here is what it’s about:

Britain has been hit by an epic problem. The dead are returning to life and attacking the living. The people they kill get up and kill. And it’s spreading like wildfire. Within two days, 80 percent of the population is dead. No one knows how this problem started or how widespread it has become, because there are no news channels anymore.

Few people remain who aren’t worried about this living nightmare: the remaining contestants in the reality TV game show, “Big Brother.” Cocooned in the safety of the Big Brother house, they’re blissfully unaware of the horrific events unfolding in the outside world… until eviction night when the walking dead descend on the studio.

Check out the 5 part series on IFC or if you don’t get the channel you can view clips on YouTube.

Dead Set on IFC (IFC.org <- new window)