In the past few months, I’ve avoided talking about the upcoming Clash of the Titans movie. The movie bothers me on a lot of different levels that I really can’t clarify outside of disenfranchised fanboyism.

I LOVED the original movie. I remember seeing it in the theater as an eight year old boy and feeling the doors of my imagination get blown off. Perseus, the young son of Zeus, undertakes an epic quest that leads him to the gates of hell, then back again. And while Perseus does a mighty fine job, he does get his ass handed to him. in fact, he’s so wiped out by the end of the movie that Zeus calls a timeout to get our young hero back on his feet.

The movie featured the classic stop motion effects of Ray Harryhausen which might look hokey today, but they were a throwback to the old sword and sandal epics of another day. Lawrence Olivier dominated as Zeus and a young Maggie Smith (Professor McGonagall from the Harry Potter movie series) was both cunning and devious. In summation, a remake of this movie isn’t necessary. It’s like remaking Raiders of the Lost Ark or Star Wars (*cough cough*).

So it makes me a little sad to see them not just remaking the movie, but they are planning to make a trilogy out of it. This is Hollywood. What’s old is what’s new and what’s new should be exploited until not a drop of life pulses through its veins. Now, I’m not saying the original was perfect. The effects are considerably dated and the robotic owl was the Jar Jar Binks of its time (I hated it even as an eight year).

But wait … hasn’t Perseus’ tale been told throughout history? What is so wrong in retelling it again?

Well, his quest is quite different from the movie depiction of it. His mother marries this shady dude who learns that Perseus was fated to kill him, so he sends the lad on an impossible quest (much like Jason) to retrieve Medusa’s head as a wedding present. I forget the actual details, but the mission itself was a suicide mission which Perseus manages to complete. Years later, Perseus competes in the Olympics, and I kid you not, he throws the discus so far it flies into the audience, killing – you guessed it – his new father.

Who knows … this could be the movie of the decade, but I’m not holding my breath. I’ve linked up uploaded youtube version of the original movie as well as the trailer for the new one. Just do me a favor, watch the old before passing judgment on the new.

As PS … Liam Neeson is terribly miscast as Zeus with a full on fake beard. Just sayin’

The Gods Should Fear Perseus’ Plans for ‘Clash’ Trilogy (bloody-disgusting.com <- new window)
Clash of the Titans HD Trailer (youtube.com <- new window)
Clash of the Titans – Part One (youtube.com <- new window)